Black Box Report

OK, even by Washington scandal standards, this one has gotten pretty weird.

A gay-Republican-in-a-men's-restroom sex scandal is odd enough; this was the second one of the summer. Larry Craig first pled guilty to the charge in an attempt to make the story go away; then went on national television to vociferously proclaim his innocence. Then, in a second attempt to make the story go away, Craig announces his imminent retirement. Now, as with his guilty plea, Craig is trying to get a mulligan on his retirement announcement.

How do we know this? Because he laid out his clever scheme in a message on the answering machine of a total stranger, apparently thinking he had called his lawyer.

U.S. Sen. Larry Craig says he might reconsider his decision to resign if he clears his name in his arrest for disorderly conduct in a restroom sex scandal.

That’s why Craig chose his words carefully during his resignation speech Saturday in Boise, according to a voice mail message he mistakenly left on a stranger’s phone. In the message obtained by the Capitol Hill newspaper Roll Call, Craig tells a man named “Billy” that his choice of language is deliberate because it leaves the door open for him to stay in office.

Craig made the call just minutes before his speech.

“We have reshaped my statement a little bit to say it is my intent to resign on Sept. 30,” Craig said. “I think it is important for you to make as bold a statement as you are comfortable with this afternoon, and I would hope you could make it in front of the cameras. I think it would help drive the story that I’m willing to fight...”

Republican leadership was keen to bury this story deep. They wanted to get rid of any signs of icky gay sex so as not to upset their base, while fumigating the stench of hypocrisy over their Craig/Vitter double standard for the rest of us. The RNC was already mulling over Craig's replacement by Republican governor (nicknamed "Butch" by yet another bizarre coincidence), and all but shoved Criag off the ledge. But now Craig is struggling to stay on, and maybe get some revenge in the process:

Sure, Larry is looking for vindication. Let's just say, this also feels like payback. The Minority Leader, Mitch McConnell, publicly chastised Craig last week -- and basically forced his resignation. But, now Larry's fighting back -- and blatantly challenging McConnell and his leadership.

Despite whatever crack dreams Tom Delay is having these days, Craig expected his GOP stalwarts to rally 'round him, blame the media and help him work out a strategy, possibly involving additional admissions of "alcohol issues" and a stint in rehab. You know, the usual course of events. Imagine his shock, then, when he was stripped of his committee assignments, mocked by his peers, and quickly hounded into an early retirement by a torch-and-pitchfork-carrying RNC mob.

But Criag may have some legal recourse here, so as if Craig's apparent refusal to go quietly wasn't bad enough for the GOP, it appears there may not be a lot they can do about it:

Next press conference: coming soon, to announce he’s un-resigning, the war effort be damned, and putting the Specter “GOP nightmare” master plan into action...

He doesn’t need to overturn the plea to keep his seat, either. It was only a misdemeanor so they don’t have cause to expel him, and the last thing the GOP wants is a debate over why Vitter skated on a reprimand when Craig likely won’t. McConnell tried to answer that today with the point about how Vitter wasn’t prosecuted for anything, but that’s not going to do him much good if the media gets a chance to take a sustained look at the gay/straight double standard. So the ethics committee will probably back off too. Suddenly Craiggers is holding all the cards.

Which suits Democratic bloggers juuuuust fine:

Please, Senator Craig, by all means, you must appeal. We really, really want you to run in 2008. It would mean the world to us. I think I speak for everyone in Lefty Blogistan when I say that it is you, Senator Craig, who symbolize everything that the Republican Party stands for, and that no one would be better suited to carry the water torch for the GOP in Idaho in the coming election cycle.

And in an interesting bit of timing, it isn't just Republican electoral chances that Craig's un-resignation will hurt. He could go and ruin the whole kabuki show:

If Sen. Larry Craig reconsiders and steps all over Gen. Petraeus' week of surge, Bill Kristol's head will explode. That Penatagon media war room they set up will be useless in the face of this cable TV zoo.

Because if there's anything the media loves covering more than administration happy talk on Iraq, it's a drawn out political sex scandal.

Craig even hired Michael Vick's lawyer ("Billy" Martin) to defend him. They'll love that.

God knows I do.

[UPDATE: McConnell, realizing he may have been outplayed by a homosexual, blinks]