Black Box Report

A little vino would be keen-o

Take pride, New Yorkers! If there's one thing our politicians know how to do better than just about anyone else, it's have splashy, jaw dropping sex scandals. This time it's Staten Island's own Rep. Vito Fossella, whose been having the kind of bad week normally reserved for guys named Spitzer.

It all started on May 1 when Fossella was picked up outside of DC on a DWI charge after running a red light. Having difficulty walking a straight line and reciting the alphabet can be the result, according to Fossella, of drinking "two or three glasses of wine." Which is true, if you're drinking it out of pint glasses. His blood alcohol level was .017 - twice the legal limit in Virginia - so it was off to the hoosegow for "Vino."

To his credit, Fossella said he was on his way to "see his sick kid" who lived nearby, coincidentally, at the same address as that of the woman who bailed him out (literally, not politically), Air Force Colonel Laura Fay.

Fossella's wife and three children all live on Staten Island. When asked how he could be seeing his "daughter" in Virginia, a rep for Fossella called it "a demeaning and highly inappropriate question."

In DC-speak, this means a reporter just hit paydirt:

Fossella was juggling at a level usually reserved for the plot lines of thoroughly incredible Hollywood movies.

Not only was Fossella keeping his wife and family in the dark about his girlfriend and child in Northern Virginia. He was also keeping his girlfriend and child in Northern Virginia in the dark that he was still married and had a family in New York.

And from there, all hell broke loose:

As if the whole "secret second family uncovered by a drunk-driving arrest" thing wasn't trouble enough. Here's what's new:

He took a shady trip to France that may have been a publicly financed love romp!
• Nobody will pay for him to run again!
• Neither of his families wanted him around for Mother's Day!
• He was never nice to his gay sister because of his "family values" stance!
• He could have maybe survived the second family thing (it's been done before), but not after the drunk-driving thing!
• And just about everyone is calling for him to resign. Today!

This would be for any elected official, but it didn't end there. The drunk driving thing would be bad enough - maybe even Patrick Kennedy-bad - for any pol to bounce back from, but when you're a Family Values Republican, the whole "secret seciond family" thing can be a bit sticky:

Perhaps now might be a good time to note that Fossella has an 81% rating from the Christian Coalition for his "pro-family" votes, and supported a constitutional amendment to prevent gays from destroying the sanctity of marriage. (Fossella also voted to impeach Bill Clinton over an extra-marital affair.)

But wait, that's not all!

He also voted to ban gay adoptions in DC. And that makes sense: the damage caused to a child by being adopted by two loving people of the same gender vastly exceeds the damage caused to a three year old by having a father who can only drop by now and again, when his real family isn't paying attention, or to his three other children by growing up in a home where there are secrets no one can talk about.

In a year when the GOP is losing safe seats in deep red districts and can't afford the cash to fund yet another close House race, this is a real opportunity for Dems, and another headache for the GOP:

NY-13 is a very purple and winnable seat...After all of this, Republicans probably have a better chance if Fossella resigns than if he stays in office.

Incredibly, Fossella is not only not resigning, but will run for re-election.

It's either that or he'll have to spend more time with his families.

Both of them.